I don't like getting beeped at. It happened today and I'm astounded at how enraged I became. The woman behind me honked and I was ready to pull over and take her
out.

That ain't right.

Was the woman justified in her impatience? A little. I was trying to make a left-
hand turn into oncoming traffic and I was having a hard time gauging how fast
those oncomers were driving. There were at least two moments where I probably
could have gone for it, but I wimped out and didn't. I'm not an especially aggressive
turner. I wasn't being decisive enough. I suspect my honker was fuming.

But I'm not a bad driver. In fact, not to toot my own horn (pun absolutely and
shamelessly intended), but sometimes I think of myself as one of the last courteous
drivers in New Jersey. I let people pull out ahead of me. I stop for Peds X-ing. I
don't talk on the phone or text or even listen to books on tape in the car because I'm
afraid I'm won't be able to pay enough attention to do a good job driving. I'm not a
great multi-tasker, so I just do one thing at a time.

Also, I don't like driving fast. I like being in control, and I feel more in control at
a slower speed. When my husband and I were in Maui on our honeymoon, we
rented a car and drove to Hana, which is a long, windy, sharp-curved drive that's
beautiful, but makes me a little queasy even writing about it. My husband doesn't
drive, so it was me at the helm of our little white Toyota and 10 minutes into the
trip he turned to me and said, "Can you go any faster? Everyone is passing us."

I couldn't. Sometimes I drive like a grandmother. It's not the worst thing in the
world.

Yet even at my comfy stride, no one ever beeps at me on the road. I keep pace with
highway traffic. The only time I get beeped at is in scenarios like today's. I used to be Queen of the Jersey Left (that split second move where you jump into your left turn the very instant the light changes), but I discovered that besides being obnoxious, it's not exactly legal, so I now wait for my "turn" to turn. Invariably, I'm stopped too long. People don't want to wait for me to get ready to make my move. "Just go," I'm sure they're saying. I know. I hiss that out my windshield all the time.

My fury at today's honker didn't come from a place of righteousness—I know I can
be a wishy washy turner. It came from a place of feeling deeply misunderstood.

The ordeal took place on Claremont, me trying to make a left onto Valley. I'd moved
my car way into the intersection to make my turn. The flow of traffic coming
toward me seemed endless and I tried to give the driver behind me enough room to
maneuver around so I didn't create a line of cars in my wake. There seemed a big
enough berth for her to do just that, but she didn't. Instead, she beeped. "Just suck
in that ample backside of yours and go around me!" I tried to say with a sweep of my hand. But I think it came off as something a little more macho and dismissive.

So, for starters, I fumed because she seemed to be blaming me for her own car-
maneuvering shortcomings.

But the source of my distress went so much deeper than that. She not only
misunderstood my courteous hand gesture, I felt like she misread me altogether.
"I know you're back there waiting on me," I wanted to tell her, "and I know I seem
like the world's worst driver, but you can't believe the chaos up here on the front
lines. People have their blinkers on but show no signs of slowing to turn; others are
speeding up to beat the light."

The real problem lies in the fact that horns are only a directive to those in front of
you, or, on occasion, to your side. Your communication with the driver behind you is mostly limited to one universal hand gesture that I try and refrain from, especially while driving. In fact, that particular gesture was not at all what I wanted to convey to my honker today. What I did want to say was this: "Girlfriend, relax. You can't see what I see from up here, so you are certainly in no position to decide what's best for me to do. Similarly, I can't imagine what's your big hurry, but I'm sure it's something that, to you, is very, very important. So why don't you just take a deep breath, let me take my turn in my own time, and then maybe we can both feel like we've taken the high road today."