This article is written by Jane Adelman, L.C.S.W., a licensed psychotherapist at the Montclair Counseling Center, has been in practice for over 30 years. She works with individual adults, couples, and young children, ages 3-9.   What is the experience of the bereaved spouse in society today?  In my experience as a psychotherapist, common themes have emerged regarding grieving spouses.   Widow and Widower Research suggests nine out of 10 grieving spouses object emotionally to the terms “widow” and “widower."  They don’t like the “sound” of them and do not want to be labeled as such. Mourners …

By Dr. Jackie Mesnik  Many children and teens worry about a variety of issues such as relationships with parents and friends and academic performance.  When worry becomes excessive and begins to interfere with functioning at school, home or with peers, the child may be struggling with an anxiety disorder, and treatment will likely be helpful. Untreated anxiety disorders are associated with future problems including peer relationship difficulties, academic underperformance or failure, and onset of other issues, including depression and substance abuse.   The good news is that psychotherapy can…

Why do the words marriage counseling and couples' therapy strike terror into the hearts of so many husbands and wives? Certainly an interest in salvaging relationships has been a media topic for many decades in our culture. A column such as "Can this Marriage be Saved?" is only one of many in popular women’s magazines. Today even men’s magazines offer relationship advice. As for the subjects of psychotherapy and marriage counseling, television has recently offered inside views of the process. Witness Dr. Melfi in her valiant attempts to engage Tony in the HBO hit "The Sopranos." Even more …

A parent, let’s call her Ms. Jones, called the Montclair Counseling Center a few months back seeking help in making a difficult decision regarding her teenage son. She recently discovered that he, a high school junior, has been smoking marijuana. He has also been presenting some problems in school, including skipping classes, and his marijuana use came to the attention of his school counselor. The school counselor arranged an interview at an intensive outpatient treatment program and the recommendation of the professionals there was that he begin attending daily outpatient services. His …

Families need a plan for anger a normal and often appropriate response to hurt and fear. We often deny anger. Then, it becomes a problem. We want to believe it will go away, but it remains unresolved. Anger won’t be ignored. Here are some ideas for dealing with anger in your family. First, identify the early warning signs of anger. Children often don’t recognize anger. In fact, many times they act out before they realize what happened. With more life experience we adults can help them identify early warning signs to help our children become more aware of their feelings. This gives them more …

Hypnosis is a powerful tool to help achieve personal goals and create positive changes in your life. Hypnotherapists utilize hypnosis to help clients achieve success in weight reduction, smoking cessation, stress reduction, relaxation, increasing self-confidence and self-esteem, overcoming insomnia, and in other areas. Hypnotherapy may even be used as part of a program for coping with anxiety or depression.  To understand how hypnosis works, first we need to know some basics about how the mind works. The human mind is typically mapped into three parts: The Unconscious Mind (which is the …