The New Year dawned bright; with sun shining and blue sky full of possibility. How to make the most of this day and all that it embodies? The day itself filled with family and fun – all outside responsibilities and cares forgotten as we enjoy the people that I grew up with and those they chose to spend their life with. My pleasure is increased in the knowing that my husband enjoys this day as much as I do. While his reasons are different than mine we are in sync and ready to make the most of the day.
After our guests leave, we release our exhaustion. Tomorrow a workday for my husband and mine to get my houseguests on the road for their drive home. There is excitement as well as sadness as we say our goodbyes. After they depart I feel deflated like a balloon. My energy drops precipitously as I walk through our now empty and quiet home so lively just one day before. I go through the motions of cleaning and tidying, unable to enjoy the opportunity to put my house back in some order. As if lead weights appear on my arms I am totally spent and I allow myself to sit down and breathe. All of a sudden a nearby comforter looks pretty cozy and I wrap myself up; feeling guilty that my husband has a full day to get through while I lounge on the sofa.
A short nap revives me somewhat and I re-engage in my day. Checking email and there I have all sorts of opportunities to get my year going with purpose. I jump into each of those promises like a kid with a shiny new penny. Choose your word for the year! Make a resolution as to how you will take care of your body! What projects have you allowed to lapse and when can you pick them up? What do you want to achieve? You get the picture…
Within an hour, my year is set. Word chosen, projects on board, business goals written, workouts scheduled, and a 21 day diet plan in hand. What have I missed? Feeling satisfied with my accomplishment and plans I go about their development; all of a sudden I am as busy as a beaver. The energy is flowing; I feel purposeful; I feel alive. It’s only January 2nd and I am on my way…
A week goes by, I am working out, eating ‘right’, and onconference calls like there’s no tomorrow. I plan to see friends in VT, committing to a nine hour drive in the course of three days. It’s worth it! I use my time in the car to catch up on all those phone calls I haven’t been able to get to with yet more to go when the cell signal drops and the VT mountains decide it’s time for me to quit. A change of scenery gives me another energy boost. The slower pace of their lives allows me to bring my energy down a pace but still going. I take over the meal prep and they happily enjoy this change of pace and the fun they say I bring to them. We get on our snowshoes each day, we take in high tea, we visit neighbors and play games with their children --- so different from the suburbs I inhabit. As I take my leave I am sad yet again but fulfilled to have had this time with them.
Week two of the new year begins. No sun shining today, energy depleted before I begin. What I’d I described as a feeling of overabundance just a week ago begins to feel like overwhelm. What happened? I can’t seem to get perspective in spite of all that I know. Now what?
Thankfully my rescuer appears. Without the white horse but with the love and compassion I need to get me back on track. Our conversation reveals that I had allowed myself to get out of integrity with my values. My focus shifted, like the rest of Americans on January 1st, to become a human doing instead of a human being. I feel relieved. I feel restored. I feel my energy come back. Just with the simple knowing of what I’d set myself up for. It’s all I need. I know how to do the rest.
How’s your new year going with all the plans you made at its start? How are you taking care of your self?